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MAKING HISTORY
By Scott Docherty
You can throw out your grain history books because we are changing American Agriculture. Volatility is one word that best sums up what Topflight Grain and our farmers have been living through since our last newsletter.
The CBOT has expanded daily trading limits for corn to 30 cents and soybeans to 70 cents per day with provisions to expand again if market conditions warrant.
Electronic trading has captured 80%
of the volume at the CBOT and with the demand for commodities from hedge and
index funds this has changed the way we must conduct our business. The
role of the index funds is market moving speculation, which is why we have made
new contract highs in the grain world.
Billions of dollars have been moving into Exchange traded funds that buy only commodities regardless of price levels or more importantly the underlying fundamentals of the cash market. The bottom line is that the funds have pushed futures levels well above where end users are willing to pay for cash grain, which is why you are seeing such wide basis levels. Basis is the difference between the futures and the cash price. With such speculation coming into the market place, you will see basis only markets with little or no cash bids for future delivery from end users. It makes you wonder whether the Futures or Cash Grain market will win out in the end. I truly believe that the cash grain market will win out but the problem is that the bull market could last longer than many of us could ever expect!
The global
demand for commodities has been magnified by a rising population and improving
the middle class especially from the countries of
The cost of doing business has more than doubled since 2006; here are some examples of the price changes in commodities the last couple of years.
May 15, 2006 cash corn - $2.35/ bushel 2008 cash corn - $5.50/ bushel
May 15, 2006 cash soybeans - $5.74/bushel 2008 cash soybeans - 13.00/bushel
2006 NH3 - $450.00/ton 2008 NH3 - $840.00/ton
2006 Potash - $265.00/ton 2008 Potash - $700.00/ton
2006 Crude oil - $60.00/barrel 2008 Crude oil -$120.00/barrel
2006 Steel for RR - $450.00/ ton 2008 Steel for RR - $900.00/ton
2006 Fuel surcharge - 9% 2008 Fuel surcharge - 22%
The demand for working capital has also more than doubled in the last year. Topflight Grain has made many $5,000,000 margin calls in the last 5 months. The farmer has the opportunity to cover some of the higher input cost with the higher flat prices. But, with short hedgers like Topflight Grain this market has been problematic. We use the CBOT as a risk management tool but with futures and cash grain not converging this is where we continue to run into trouble. This is disturbing as we move forward with
many of the large commercials pulling their deferred cash bids because of the lack of convergence and the price discovery mechanism questioned.
Topflight Grain has more than
doubled our operating line since last year with grain sales projected to reach
$170 million for the current fiscal year. Topflight has a strong balance sheet
and we plan to continue to meet the bank’s requirements to have access to this
type of capital. The Federal Reserve has eased rates, which helps when
borrowing this amount of money until we can ship grain out to pay for what our
patrons have sold to Topflight Grain. I would have never imagined how the sub
prime mortgage fallout would have affected our company in the central
This Spring and Summer will prove to be very volatile for the grain industry and with this volatility will come risks and also opportunity. The opportunity for the farmers will be forward contracting for higher prices to lock in cash flow and a good profit. Topflight Grain will try to give you this opportunity while we also must have some risk management parameters that we will need to stay within, for example limiting our forward cash bids to 11 months out.
Topflight Grain will continue to bring risk management tools to the table for price protection and forward contracting opportunities. Price rationing and fundamentals will turn this bull market. The question is when???
Denise has been busy with decorations for prom and still enjoys singing at church. Serge (25) is coming off a rough year but is doing the best he can with dialysis and still working 40 hours a week. Dillon (17) made the drum line in marching band and is playing spring soccer. Annie (13) is running track this spring and still involved in dance. I am looking forward to warmer weather and getting outside to work in the yard and maybe getting in a round of golf or two.
We appreciate your business and wish everyone a safe planting season. Remember you are playing a role in making history!
FOOD VS FUEL
By Amy Brammer
It seems like just in the past
couple of years, the debate of oil vs ethanol has heated up as the demand for
renewable fuels grows larger. Truth is the battle is not new.[1] It
can be traced back to 1826, when Samuel Morey used alcohol to fuel the first
internal combustion engine prototype. By the mid 1860’s thousands of
distilleries across the
By the
early 1900’s ethanol was the major fuel of choice for early vehicles around the
world. Henry Ford even called it “The fuel of the future…there is enough
alcohol in one year’s yield of an acre of potatoes to drive the machinery
necessary to cultivate the fields for 100 years.” However, this would quickly
change as sizable new oil fields were being discovered in
As the battle continued a big consideration came up over how to reduce engine knocking. In 1917, the Dayton Engineering Laboratories Company (Delco) added grain alcohol to gasoline and reduced the knock significantly. Then, in 1919, Delco was bought out by General Motors. At the time the GM board mostly consisted of members belonging to the family owning E.I. Du Pont chemical company.
Delco quickly realized that the ethanol solution couldn’t be patented and anyone with a still could make it. So, Delco engineers set about trying to find a chemical solution to the engine knocking. In 1921, they discovered that TEL (tetraethyl lead) would do just that. GM got the patent on TEL as an octane-boosting additive to gasoline and gave it the trade name Ethyl. Now, if GM could align itself and its research with other car manufactures and large oil companies to get distribution contracts for Ethyl they could get royalties on every gallon of gasoline sold for the life of the patent! By 1923 a 20% royalty would result in $36 million.
The only problem now was that TEL contained lead. Public Health officials raised concerns and by 1923 several workers and even the engineer that created TEL suffered from severe lead poisoning. GM continued to promote and expand its product. They procured distribution contracts with several oil companies. However, even with advances in the Ethyl product composition, illnesses, and deaths among workers continued, threats of banning leaded gasoline were rampant. There were hearings and studies done by several different agencies and governing bodies and though all showed overwhelming concerns of the amount of lead being put into the atmosphere, Ethyl was approved for sale.
In the
meantime, throughout the 20’s and 30’s farmers and ethanol enthusiasts didn’t
give up the fight. Over 2,000 gas stations across the
World War II breathed new life into the ethanol industry as it was used to extend fuel life in airplanes and submarines and as a raw material in synthetic rubber (tires, etc.). However, after the war plants were shut down and stations went back to selling leaded gasoline throughout the 50’s.
The Ethyl Corp still ascertained that the lead was not a health threat. By the early 60’s the Ethyl Corp and GM seemed to see the writing on the wall. Studies were disproving Ethyl Corp’s position that the lead in gasoline was naturally found in humans before and TEL was their lead suspect as to why it was turning up now and was the proponent behind several health issues, including smog! Then, in a reaction to a Justice Department ruling on emission controls, in 1970 GM announced they would meet pending clean-air laws by putting catalytic converters in their vehicles beginning in 1974. At this point ethanol talk began to heat up again. Midwestern states went back into action passing tax breaks and incentive for new plants. By 1986 no lead was to be allowed in motor gasoline. The new problem then became TEL’s octane boosting replacement – MTBE. MTBE was soon found to cause cancer and was a pollutant of groundwater and was set to be phased out as well.
This brings us to today’s environment of ethanol and other renewable fuels gaining popularity. A 10% ethanol-blended fuel is warranted for use by ALL auto manufacturers marketing vehicles in the U.S. Automakers are re-introducing Flex Fuel vehicles and slowly we are seeing E85 (85% ethanol and 15% gasoline) available at the station pumps. There are well over a hundred ethanol plants in operation and more in the planning stages. Now the big debate has become whether or not ethanol is the main cause of the rising food prices. Remember that for every dollar a consumer spends on food just 19 cents can be attributed to the actual costs of food inputs like grains and oilseeds. Labor costs about 38 cents of every dollar. Packaging, transportation, energy, advertising, and profits make up about 24 cents of the dollar. Retail food products contain very little actual corn. (In reference to field corn, not sweet corn.) Therefore, do fluctuations in the price of corn have less impact on retail prices than say oil/energy price increases? Corn is simply a single ingredient in one step of the process; whereas, oil/energy is used in almost every step of the process in getting grain from the farm gate to the retail shelf consistently adding to the costs of production. Higher grain prices are a contributing factor to the rising cost of food, but ethanol is not the sole reason, nor did corn futures get to $6.00 on their own! Climbing crude oil/energy prices, growing export demand, and tightening global grain supplies have been major contributors to the dramatic climb in corn and soybean futures prices.
The oil vs
ethanol battle rages on and probably will for quite some time. Ethanol is an
American-grown, environmentally friendly, renewable fuel that helps rural
On a completely different note - Brenden is doing great! Elliott and I are just amazed at him everyday as we watch him grow and learn. His little smiles are just the most precious things.
Everyone be safe out there as planting begins and enjoy this spring weather as before we know it the summer heat will be here!
[1] http://www.livinghistoryfarm.org/farminginthe50s/crops_05.html
ATWOOD HAPPENINGS
by
Russel Wright
The second harvest season has been
a busy time. A lot of farm stored grain was delivered to Atwood, almost 310,000
bu of corn, beans, and non-gmo beans. In the coming months there will be more
delivered. Bill and I want to thank everyone that has delivered to this
facility. We have transferred a lot of corn to Milmine during the past few
months. Of course the beans go to ADM in
It seems like every time I’m writing newsletters I’m talking about rain or snow, and by golly it’s raining today. Here it is almost the middle of April and no field work has been done. I’m sure all the farmers are getting equipment ready to plant corn. One even told me he had his tractor and planter sitting at the edge of his field, so all he has to do is start the tractor and drop the planter. Well maybe, that might not be how it is, but I bet when it dries out, look out, there will be tractors everywhere.
One of my retired farmers passed away recently. Bob Fultz was a good friend and full of farming ideas. He and his wife went to a lot of flea markets and garage sales; he always found something to show me. He was all the time finding memorabilia about Atwood Grain, Unity Grain, and Bement Grain; much of this is being displayed on the walls in this office. Bob would come into the office at least twice a week and give me a report on what’s been going on in the community and else where. As time went on, his health declined to the point of him going to the nursing home. My morning coffee drinkers would tell me how he was getting along. Then in March Bob passed away, I sure miss him and his favorite cowboy hats with all the pins attached. Thanks for being a good friend.
Family update: all the
grandchildren are doing good. Zac is taking karate instructions, and just
recently accomplished breaking his first board. He is looking forward to the
baseball season. Kady and Tatum graduated from t-ball and will be playing
softball. They can’t wait to get their new gloves and bats dirty. Kendyl is
still too young to enjoy these activities, but she can’t wait to start. Little
Jaxon is starting to crawl around and getting into things.
Well the rain has tapered off somewhat, the grass and wheat are greening up, maybe there will be corn planted after all. Everyone have a safe planting season.
By Vanessa Stinson
Pam says its time to write another newsletter article. We all moan because we feel like we just wrote one, but maybe that’s because we are getting older and cannot remember the last time it was. Oh well, here goes - hope you get something out of it.
This winter has been a great one, if you can say that about winter. I have had the pleasure of visiting and listening to stories from the morning crew. You all do know that’s what you are called here right? I want to tell you ladies, that they do know how to clean up after themselves, so don’t let them try to get away with it at home.
Like most winters Topflight has been busy with shipping grain out to make room for the next harvest, if we ever get it planted. I asked the other day who made Mother Nature upset that she has made it so wet for us? No one took the blame.
Your
On the home front, Nicolle is done with her senior year of college. She will be student teaching in Atwood in the fall. Ashley is working for the Macon County Health Department, and Gretchen just got a promotion with the Kroger Company. She is a technical manager. We are very proud of our girls. It’s hard to believe that they are grown up. We wish all of you a great summer.
I AM WOMAN . . . . . .
By Sandy Davenport
Well, Pam says it is newsletter time, AGAIN! My first thought was to go back to one of my previous spring newsletters and just copy it. If your memory is anything like mine, you wouldn’t know the difference anyway!!
Recently I have attended three programs with a 50-60’s theme. One of those programs was the Topflight’s annual Women’s Program. I think I can speak for all of the “Topflight Girls” in saying we had a really good time planning and hosting the program. This era seems to be a favorite of many people. I think we Baby Boomers have had some really good times, but here lately, I don’t know about you, but I feel like my age is beginning to catch up with me. Things just aren’t as easy to do as they used to be. Guess it isn’t just me though. Recently I received a fax that said some of the artists of the 60’s are thinking of revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging Baby Boomers. Thought I would share a few with you.
Herman’s Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker
The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?
Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ a Flash
The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
Procol Harem --- A Whiter Shade of Hair
Leo Sayer --- Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone
Abba --- Denture Queen!
Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Willie Nelson --- On The Commode Again
THIS IS MY FAVORITE:
Helen Redy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Now, guess I had
better do a little bit of Emery news. We
have been shipping corn, beans and Non-Gmo beans to
I know planting has been delayed from previous years, but as I write this letter a few planters are in the field. Have a great spring and summer!
ROLLERCOASTER RIDE
By
Will we continue with this wild ride, on this rollercoaster of a year? The markets have been up, down, around, and with many curves from a variety of factors. This has kept the farmers wondering, is it the top of the rollercoaster and when is the big drop? Our weather isn’t any better….warm, cold, snow, rain, ice and even thunderstorms, sometimes, all in a matter of the same day. Actually, as I’m writing this article, it is the second week of April and the last two days have been nice and today it’s back to being rainy, windy and cold. On the news last night, I saw the word SNOW in the forecast for Saturday; this means no talk of planting in the works for a couple of weeks yet.
The other day, I
was reading through some older newsletters. I found an article in the spring
1999 issue from
I can’t believe Hilary’s first year of college is about over. She is really involved with the college TV station and loves it. She’s going back to 4-H camp to be a councilor for the summer. This will probably be her last year for that. Michael has finished another year of hockey and will be in roller hockey for the summer. Stacey said between house league and the traveling league Michael had 60 ice hockey games this winter. That’s a lot of traveling and bleacher time. Andrew is 2 ½ and he started ice hockey lessons in January. He can skate on the ice, but he’s not into the hockey part of it yet.
Stop by the Pierson office and WELCOME Stacey to our office. Stacey Elliott was hired to fill Ralna’s position as a Topflight/United Prairie employee. Stacey lives in the Tuscola area.
VOLATILITY
By Derrick Bruhn
When you look the word volatility up in the dictionary it says “tending to fluctuate sharply and regularly.” I think this is a very good explanation of the summer Ag markets. We now have the new trading limits for corn, beans and wheat that will enable these fluctuations to be larger than we have seen in the past. Corn now has a limit of 30 cents, beans 70 cents, and wheat 60 cents the first day. This can escalate the following day if the markets are up the limit. This makes it more difficult for the producer and the elevator to market the crops. There are many risk management tools that can be used by the producer to help in marketing their crops. Currently the elevator is unable to sell corn or beans for fall 09. In turn, we are not buying corn or beans for fall 09. If a customer is in the process of locking in some inputs and wants to get a pricing window established there are options that can help with this.
As the planters are starting to roll and spring has arrived, then harvest is that much closer. The operations crew has been very busy this winter shipping and receiving corn and beans and will continue through the summer to make space for this fall. The toughest question is when will grain start to be harvested. Since we aren’t getting the crop in quite as early as last year, then one would think harvest wouldn’t start as early. The thing everyone needs to remember is that if harvest is delayed, then US ending stocks on corn and beans will get even tighter and there will potentially be premiums for some of the first corn and beans to be harvested. The last USDA stock report showed ending stocks on corn at 1.283 billion bushels and ending stocks on beans at 160 million bushels. We are currently using about 1.1 billion corn per month and 250 million beans per month. As you can see, if harvest starts 15 days late then things could get very interesting.
Lynne and I were blessed with our second daughter on March 10th. Mylin Emma Bruhn was 8lbs 4oz and 20 inches long. Mylin was born with brown hair and brown eyes and looked a lot like her Dad. Everyone thinks Mabry looks just like Lynne, so I guess it is my turn. Everyone is doing great and looking forward to summer. Hope everyone enjoys this summer and we have just the right amount of moisture for the crops.
UNCERTAIN TIMES
By Adam Jackson
I can finally say I have made it through my first year working for Topflight. It’s amazing how much things have changed in the year I have been here. My first day, April 23, 2007, our fall corn bid was $3.36 and our fall bean bid was $7.36. At the time, I thought those looked like pretty good prices. While I’m writing this our bid for fall corn is $5.73, and our bid for fall beans is $11.71. That’s an increase of 59% for corn and 63% for beans!
Not only have these commodities risen in price, but it has also gotten much more expensive to raise these crops. The cost of most inputs has significantly grown in the last year. A gallon of diesel fuel has risen 52% from one year ago. Also, the price to buy or rent land has increased, with prime farm land selling for as much as 8,000 dollars an acre. Grain elevators are also dealing with more risk than ever. The market has been extremely volatile in the last year as the daily limits have increased and there is more money flowing into commodities than ever. The costs of doing business have gone up for everyone.
Even though it feels like farming has become a riskier business than ever, an article I recently read helped give me some perspective. When famous billionaire investor George Soros was asked how he has dealt with investing in these risky and uncertain times, he said “You either have to be very careful, or very nimble.” I think this can be a good piece of advice for anyone in agriculture today. Nobody knows what is going to happen down the road, so the only thing you can do is be cautious and ready to react when the situation changes.
On a personal note, my girl friend
Lindsay is close to being finished with school at the
Hope everyone has a safe planting season and a good summer!
BUSY WINTER
By Matt Dean
It was another busy winter in
This spring
we’ve had some cosmetic work done to the facility. Lee Excavating from
We recently
hired a new employee here at
The wild
markets have definitely kept us busy this Spring. Combine the markets with the normal elevator
activity and crop insurance, and we have stayed plenty busy! At the beginning of this week, most of our
farmers are starting to put some corn in the ground, so it’s been a little
quieter around the office this week!
Despite questionable weather throughout most of the
As it continues to get warmer outside and as we continue to approach summer, we will be busier and busier around the elevator with trains and trucks as we put forth our best effort to empty the facility to prepare for harvest which is probably only 5 months away! As for me, as it warms up, I’ll get busier and busier playing golf and softball. I can’t wait. Bring on Summer!!
SOGGY SPRING= SLOW PLANTING
By Jason Goodner
Hello to
all of our customers, family and friends from the
Looking back over the last four months, there are a few things we should recap. Back on Dec.17th we held our annual open house. We had another great turn out this year. Thanks to all who came lunch, conversation, and fun. Kari, I, and my mother-in-law made up pork barbeque, beef chili, and tons of sweet treats. I’d like to thank Bruce and Will Cresap for donating the beef for the chili. Mark Nibling again this year also donated a pot of deer chili and summer sausage. We had a really good time again this year, so definitely make sure you put us on your calendar this winter coming up.
After the holidays were over with on January 2nd, Topflight wrote more than 60 million dollars worth of checks to customers. That beats the previous mark of 49 million the year before. I would like to thank all of our customers on their continued patronage to our facilities. Without you there wouldn’t be a Topflight Grain Coop. Thanks again.
As we all
know the grain markets have been very volatile since harvest 06. Nothing has changed over the course of the
last 18 months. So far this year we have
seen the cash bid on corn, beans, and wheat reach new all time highs in the
market. Cash corn prices have ranged
from $5.25- $5.92 for at least the last month.
Beans also have seen a wide range.
Cash bean prices have ranged $10.96 - $14.92 just this year. With the increased volatility in the market,
we have chosen to reduce some market risk by increasing our hedge to arrive fees
and also only posting bids for about 11 months at a time. We know that this has been difficult to not
price Fall 09, but we do have some options that the
Since the last news letter in November we have seen a great deal of change around here. Customers have been purchasing different equipment, land has been sold, and others have picked up new land leases. It is important to us that as these changes occur, if you would keep Topflight updated also. While we are a long way from harvest right now, it’s easier to get that bookwork out of the way. If you have any farming changes please let one of our branch offices know, and we will make the changes for you.
On the home front everyone is doing just fine. Back before Thanksgiving, Kari was in the hospital to have her gall bladder removed, but like a trooper still was able to make it to Thanksgiving. Kolby is getting ready to start Kindergarten this coming fall. That is kind of scary for Dad and Mom. Our first is getting ready for school. Addi is doing just fine too. She is getting to be a big girl and has almost conquered potty training. Kari and I are waiting patiently for her to get it. Kari and I also just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on April 21st. Seems like a long time, but it’s been great.
Last, but
not least I would like to thank the operations guys who have come to help me
out. Thanks to Andy Parsons, Paul
Peeler,
A DAY WITHOUT PAM
And Everyone Else
By Chuck Bentley
Sometimes here in Bement, Pam is gone and sometimes most everyone else in the office at one time or other during the day. Let me give you a day’s worth of events that happened to me not too long ago.
First I make sure I get up on time, actually about a half hour early, so I can be sure I get everything opened up at work on time and the computers running. The next thing is answering the phone. Normally I don’t have to answer it, so I must switch my mind to answer it on the first ring. That is the office norm. Next I have a call about a customer’s bushels on hand. Since I don’t normally work with customers, I gave the wrong balance because this was a special division after everything gets delivered. This customer calls me back five times telling me this can’t be right. Of course Pam would have known this. Next I keep answering the phone on the first ring, and the next ten calls are for Eric. Apparently we are Eric’s answering service. Every call seemed to be for him. The next problem is here come semis and farm delivery trucks. It couldn’t have been one of those days when no grain was moving in or out. Next it is lunch time. I always take a half hour away from work. Most everyone else eats in the office. I order my lunch and eat in. I could have really used the break! Not to mention I have that smoking habit, and when one is alone in the office, it is very difficult to smoke. Afternoon arrives and what do I have but another customer request for information. After my morning fiasco, I am now afraid to put out any information at all. I just tell them to call back tomorrow when Pam will be back. Next I have a trucker request and guess what? Rodd takes care of these questions and he is gone also. Finally 4:30 rolls around, and its time to quit. Out the door I go. Whoops, I forgot I now have to do end of day. Pam normally does this also. Another half hour goes by doing end of day, and now I can go home.
As you can see, coworkers are sometimes taken for granted, but I would like to take this opportunity to tell them all that I appreciate each and every one of them.
Let’s have a safe and great planting season and I promise my next article will not be this long. It will be short and sweet like I like them.
MAROA NEWS
By
Denny Hill
Spring seems to
be finally arriving to
This winter was busy around here with 700,000 bushels of corn and 130,000 bushels of soybeans delivered to us so far from off the farm. With the excellent crop we had last fall, every bin was filled in the country due to storage problems and in anticipation of a price increase after the crop had been put away.
We have shipped
1.4 million bushels of corn to
It is hard to
believe that is has been 10 years now since Topflight Grain formed between the
merger of 3 local Cooperatives. At that time my oldest daughter Jessica was
entering Junior High here in Maroa and this May she will graduate from the
Have a Safe Planting Season!
SPRING & SUMMER ACTIVITIES
By Brock Casteel
After a seemingly endless winter, it appears that spring is here to stay in this, the last week of April. With any luck, we will be able to put one full week of good dry weather together and pick up our covered ring at Pierson. The completion of that project is always a welcome marker on the road to being cleaned out for harvest.
Maintenance projects have been coming together nicely, but with a full docket of issues for the summer months, I’m certain we will not run out of things to do in preparation for harvest. Projects such as the replacement of the aeration floor in a bin at Pierson, rebuilding of a concrete receiving pit at La Place, and rewiring of the main power for Atwood have all went off with minimal disturbance to business as usual at the respective facilities.
This time of year I always start to get excited about going tractor pulling. My family and I, along with a lot of other volunteers, will again tackle the organization and operation of the Moultrie Douglas fair tractor pull in Arthur. The pulls will take place July 9th and 10th, so come out, say hi, and enjoy the show.
SPRING HAS ARRIVED
By Stason Kopps
Spring has
finally arrived in central
The
Topflight Grain is proud to welcome Ben Jones to the company. Ben will be running the Lodge elevator and also helping wherever needed.
It sure
looks a lot different around the
I am sure glad it is spring, again. After last winter I am looking forward to long warm days. I am also looking forward to going to a baseball game or two with my girlfriend Marsha.
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable spring and summer.
SPRING – Finally!!
By Mikki Burns
It is the 23rd of April and it’s our first 80 degree day. WOW, what a Winter!! We are all sure glad it is finally Spring. Now we are dealing with rain, rain, rain and wind, wind, wind!! Everything will be getting planted kind of late this year, but hopefully it won’t take long once everyone gets started. It’s taking a while for the ground to dry out and warm up!!
Cisco has been busy shipping corn by rail and soybeans by truck. The goal is to have 3-4 trains a month, so we can be cleaned out by harvest. Jack, Rick and Gary stay very busy each and every day! There is always so much to do to keep up and maintain our location.
Jim and I have a precious new
grandson!! Cooper Dean Benson was born
on April 15th weighing 7lb. 5 oz. and is 20” long. Cooper and his mom are doing well. J.D. loves his baby ‘brudder’. Blaine and Audrey are good, also!
We hope everyone has a very safe planting season!!
LONG WINTER
By
Eric Clements
Winter seemed to drag on forever this year. But, the weather hasn’t slowed us down at Topflight because as you know, the work must go on. The outside crews have been busy picking up the tarped ground piles and performing maintenance on the facilities. We have emptied the piles at Milmine, Seymour and Maroa. The winds removed our Milmine tarp in December. We were fortunate that we already had some room in the elevator and the corn sales, so we could start emptying this ring right away. The outside staff was able to pick the Milmine pile timely with zero wasted corn. It pays to have good equipment and good employees to get this done right.
The maintenance staff has been busy
making the necessary repairs to our elevators. The larger receipts at harvest
time cause our elevator spouting and components to wear more quickly each year.
The maintenance staff also helps out with trains and ground pile pick up.
Topflight has ordered a new maintenance truck for Rob Dick. Rob works out of
our
Brock, Stason and I attended a
grain conference in
I hope that everyone has a safe and productive spring.
YOU’RE
GONNA MISS THIS
By
Rodd Runyen
A couple of my co-workers, (Chuck & Eric),
say that my articles for the High Flyer are tear-jerkers, as they jokingly dab
their eyes with handkerchiefs and tissues. They know my article will be about
my family because I write my articles on the personal level. I do this so the
readers don’t get corn and soybean information overload! So Chuck and Eric, get
your tissues ready, here is my article, which I dedicate to my daughter Sara
and her friends.
As the Memorial Day weekend quickly approaches,
each passing day reminds me that I am one day closer to having my oldest
daughter, Sara, graduate from high school. I can’t believe she is graduating
from high school already - the years have flown quickly by. It’s hard to
believe she will be going to college next year. It just seems like yesterday
that I was in college! How can she be going to college already? Time marches
on.
As
I reflect back over her school years, I look back with a smile on my face and a
tear in my eye. She has had 13 good years at
Sara and her six friends, (
I have watched them grow from little girls into
beautiful young women. As they graduate from high school and move on to
college, I offer them some advice:
1.
Remain close friends throughout your years. I graduated from
2.
Enjoy your youth. You are all beautiful young women. Each one of you probably
would say, “Well, if I could, I would change this about me.” But in 15 or 20
years you will look back and say, “Wow, I really looked good then.” Time goes
swiftly by, so enjoy your youth before time takes it toll and you realize it
has passed you by.
3.
Live life. None of us is guaranteed tomorrow. We don’t know if tomorrow is
going to bring happiness, sadness, tragedy, or surprises. So live like it is
your last day on Earth so you have no regrets for what you should or shouldn’t
have done. Reach for your dreams and enjoy the journey that takes you there.
So as you graduate from high school, the lyrics
from Trace Adkins’ song keep coming to me. As they apply to you, I think they
also will apply to each of your parents, for it seems your school years went by
too quickly:
“You’re
gonna miss this
You’re
gonna want this back
You’re
gonna wish these days
Hadn’t
gone by so fast.
These
are some good times
So
take a good look around
You
may not know it now
But
you’re gonna miss this.”
I just want to take this time to thank each of
Sara’s friends for helping to mould her into the woman she has become. You have
all been very special to her and I hope you will all continue to stay in touch.
Each of you has a promising and bright future and I wish you the best of luck
as your journey in life enters another phase.
So if you go to the
BUMPIN’ & STUMBLIN’
By Pam Jarboe
We seemed to bump and stumble a few times this year as we planned the women’s program, but before long, we were Rockin’ & Rollin’!!
All year long, the ladies of Topflight Grain are on the lookout for ideas, speakers, and decorations for the next spring’s program. In January we get together to choose a theme and design the program, trying our best to make selections that you will enjoy. This year, we thought our 50’s-60’s theme would be lots of fun, but then we really struggled with the program and speakers. We tried to find a skit of sock-hop dancers to rock & roll at the diner. We never did find them. When I called Ester Duncan to present her speech on farm wife aprons, we begrudgingly gave her the full hour she requested. I didn’t how a speech on aprons could be interesting for an hour! We thought a craft would be fun and found a lady who promised that she could teach us all to paint. And what exactly does “identity theft” have to do with the 50’s & 60’s? We didn’t even know what it was at that time! And how will we decorate the stage and the tables?
We met several times and emailed and phoned a lot of times. Rather than the dancers, Jill persuaded two men from the Decatur Orchestra to entertain us with music of the era. Ester’s hour on aprons was fantastic. She didn’t talk the entire hour; she asked the ladies who brought their favorite apron to “show & tell”. Rather than painting, we all learned how to create a small box and a May basket by folding squares of paper. Identity theft, indeed didn’t happen in the 50’s & 60’s, but it was a timely topic in 2008. We found some of the decorations on the Internet, and we brought the rest from home.
Actually,
And, of course, everyone did a lot more than I mentioned. Everyone participated in all of the decisions, discussions and all of the work. And I think the day turned out great. We were pooped by the end of the day, but that is probably a good sign. We had fun, and we hope that you did, too. If you hear a good speaker, or read about one, please be sure to tell one of us for the next program.
This was a long, round about way to tell you how great the ladies are, who work for Topflight Grain. The ladies program happens because they all work hard, and work well together; it also happens because you support Topflight Grain with your business, which allows us to sponsor the program.
And while we were rockin’ & rollin’, our great maintenance and operations staff kept the elevators running, and the trains & trucks loaded. And the few lonely men in the offices, they did a great job. I think the Topflight crew is the best there is, as co-workers and as friends.
Our sympathies to the
families of . . . . .
Owen Anderson, Lillian Agee,
Pauline Martin, Robert Fultz, Ervan Nibling, Jessie Helm, John Mackey, Stan
Mackey, Don Hodge, Carolyn Siders, Evelyn Burton, Hildred Webb, Margaret
Linville, Virginia Hill, Harold Redman, Olene Good, Richard Stone Sr., Lewis
Gillett, Harriett Bolin, Hildred Webb, Sharon Ayer, Kevin Crowe, Jack McHale,
Florence Hoffman, Rosemary Park, Dutch
Davidson, Waldo Born, Joann Portwood, Doris Murphy, and all others who have
lost loved ones.
Our congratulations to:
Lindsey Daugherty, who recently celebrated his 80th birthday; Sierra Day, recipient of the 2008 Illinois Angus Futurity Show & Sale Bronze Award; Brad Fristoe, who celebrated his 90th birthday on April 12; Amy & Elliott Brammer, and their first child, Brenden; Bob Lieb, who celebrated his 80th birthday last winter; Dean Riley whose family celebrated his 80th birthday in April with a family cruise; Mary Ahlrich, whose “loving family” advertised her 85th birthday on April 19; Austin Brandenburg’s “standout 2008 season” for the Cerro Gordo track team; Jessie Rowe, still going strong at 98 years young! Steve & Juanita Balance, who celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary last December; Brian Malone, promoted from CED at Piatt County FSA to District Director, covering 12 counties in southeastern Illinois; Derrick & Lynne Bruhn, with the birth of their second child, Mylin; Wayne Redman, who celebrated his 91st birthday on March 26; Wales & Ann Allen, parents of Aubrey Elleana, born March 7; proud grandparents are Harry & Ellen Allen; Award winners for the Bement boys’ basketball team – Justin Walsh, best field goal percentage; Drew Bradley, most assists; Daniel Comerford, MVP, most rebounds, leading scorer and other awards; and Brandon Zech, most improved; Ryan & Katona Baker, parents of Aidan Ryan, born January 26; proud grandparents are Arnold & Marlene Schultz; Malory Catherine Davis and Ryan Todd Brittenham, engaged to be married on May 24; Chad Larimore & Jessica Shaffer, married on March 1; Bob & Delores Ferrill, married 50 years; Jake Lieb, featured in the ag sector of the Piatt County Journal Republican; Kevin & Lauren (Stoerger) Pluff, parents of Greyson Kevin Pluff, born January 11; proud grandparents are Louie & Angie Stoerger; proud great-grandparents are Larry & Shirley Hamilton and Harold & Joan Stoerger; Lucille Wildman, who celebrated her 80th birthday on March 4; Alan Turngren & Laura Cox, engaged to be married on June 14; Elaine Day, retiring after 42 years as student, teacher & administrator in the Bement School District; Elise Krause, owner of Ace Wild Card, the grand champion bull of the Winter National Milking Shorthorn Show held in Louisville, Kentucky; Bob & Roseann Morgan, married 60 years, this past February; The family of Stan Funk, as a stained glass window at Monticello’s Lincoln School, was dedicated as a memorial to Stan; Fred & Janet Perry, grandparents to Maylee Perry; proud parents are Matthew & Michelle; Jim Garvey, honored as he retired as Cerro Gordo Community School District Treasurer; Larry Skinner, recognized by the Midwest Truckers Association for his outstanding services in the trucking industry; William Fombelle, Jason Jennings, and Brooke Morris, named new members of Alpha Lambda Delta Honor Society at Illinois State University; Sid & Debi James, proud grandparents of Hudson James, born March 5; Rachel Allen, winner of the “What Christmas Means to Me” contest in Arthur; Chris Karr, working with the Jay Leno crew, to demonstrate his hog calling talents; Bob & Marlene Corman, whose 50th wedding anniversary was November 24; Ron & Joanne O’Connor, and their first grandson, Keegan Matthew; Jason & Megan Mumm, on the birth of their second son, Luke; Tim & Stacey (Burns) Benson, parents of Cooper Dean, born April 15; proud grandparents are Jim & Mikki Burns and Dean & Becky Benson; proud great-grandparents are Mildred Burns, Albert Vermillion, and Ivan Benson; George Riley, who celebrated his 50th birthday this winter; Greg Heckman, named chief executive of Gavilon. The company, formerly ConAgra Trade Group, merchandises grain, distributes fertilizers, as well as agriculture, energy and other commodity trading activities and risk management services; Gretchen Stinson, new technology manager for Kroger; Dave & Charlotte Corman, new grandparents to Naomi Faith, born on January 31, to their daughter Carol and her husband; Carrol & Margaret Albert, married 50 years, last November; Louie Tieman & Connie Morgan, married on January 1; Joel & Stefani Steele, parents of Cora Mae, born December 18; proud grandparents are Mr. & Mrs. Rick Steele; Lyle & Patty Heit, married 50 years on January 26; Randy Howland, wished a Happy 50th, by his wife, daughter, and friends, last November; Lola Reed, who celebrated her 90th birthday last November; Mr. & Mrs. Jeremiah Gregory, whose new son was born in December, one day before his great-grandfather’s, Jack Funk’s, birthday; proud grandparents are Dwight & Judy Gregory;
Betty Harshbarger, who celebrated her 80th birthday in December; and Walter White, who celebrated his 90th birthday in January;
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * *
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25
years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation
was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He
was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard
here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person
who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when
questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen
money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his
boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled.
But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had,
indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.".....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies
at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk.
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the
politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to
him for confession."
Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
IT’S ALWAYS FUN IN 2nd
GRADE!!
We’ve had two exciting adventures with our adopted 2nd grade class, since our last newsletter. In December, Scott & Pam joined the class for some delicious cookies and chocolate milk. While we were enjoying the treats, we heard sleigh bells ringing and a jolly laugh!! Wow!! We couldn’t believe that Santa had time to visit with us, with so much activity at the North Pole. He sat right down, talked to each student, and handed each one a coloring book and soy crayons, as a small gift, until he could deliver more gifts on Christmas Eve. Santa couldn’t stay too long, though, as the reindeer were a little anxious, parked on top of the elevator. Santa waved good-by to the class, from the top of the elevator, and returned to the North Pole to complete the Christmas requests from our second grade class.
In March, we
enjoyed a great field trip to
After our very informative visit at the airport, we learned a lot at the “Body Walk” tour at the Childrens’ Museum”. We split into smaller groups, and walked through the human body. We started at the mouth, learning the importance of keeping our teeth clean, then went through the esophagus, into the stomach, with information about eating the right food groups. We learned about keeping our lungs healthy and our heart strong. After lunch, we enjoyed all the learning activities at the Museum. It was a wonderful day!
IDENTITY THEFT
At the women’s program, Jeff Shively talked about Identity Theft. We’d like to share some of his information with all of you:
Jeff also talked about the requests we receive for donations, and offered suggestions to be sure that your money is used as you intended:
NONGMO BEANS
If you have nongmo beans in storage, or have signed the contract to grow nongmo beans for the 2008 crop year, you must tell us at the time of sale, that you are selling nongmo beans. Accounting and grain storage of the nongmo beans is entirely separate from any other commodity, including RoundUp beans; grain sales must be kept separate also.
CBOT LIMITS
On March 28, the CME group authorized new daily trading limits for corn, beans, wheat, oats and other exchange-traded commodities. The daily limit on corn went to 30 cents from 20 cents and beans increased to 70 cents from 50 cents. In addition to the increased limits, expanded limits of about 50 percent will apply when prices close at limit bid or limit offer, meeting other criteria. Prices can expand two consecutive times.
GRAIN PURCHASES
As of May 1, Topflight Grain farmers had sold 94% of the 2007 corn crop and 95% of their 2007 bean crop. The average price received for the corn was $3.82, and the average bean price received was $9.67. We have purchased an estimated 27% of the 2008 corn crop at an average price of $4.29, and an estimated 17% of the 2008 bean crop at an average price of $10.49. Approximately 1% of the 2009 corn crop is sold at an average price of $4.18. Approximately ½% of the 2009 bean crop is sold at an average price of $11.48.
ECONOMIC IMPACT OF THE GRAIN
INDUSTRY
The grain industry has a
tremendous economic impact in the state of
The Illinois Grain Industry employs over 5000 people.
Over 4900 workers are employed by other industries to support the grain industry.
$189.5 million
in wages are paid to employees in the
These companies have gross sales over $9.9 billion.
$2.1 billion is
spent, annually by
$155.3 million is spent on capital improvements, annually, by the grain industry.
$54.2 in
payroll, property, federal taxes
WELCOME!!
We welcome Stacey Elliott to the Topflight Pierson crew. Stacey will be assisting Gloria in the office with grain accounting, and working with the customers and staff of United Prairie.
Ben Jones has joined the operations staff at
BUSHELS FOR THE FUTURE
By Scott Docherty
I wanted our patrons to know that last year the Piatt County Farm Bureau Foundation donated $3,000.00 in scholarships to local students pursuing a career in agriculture. Topflight Grain Cooperative, Inc. has also been a proud supporter of the Foundation and Earth Partners. Earth Partners brings Agriculture into the local high schools through Agriculture literacy programs and workshops.
You, too, can play a role with Ag scholarships by donating bushels of grain this fall in a program called “Bushels for the Future”. Topflight Grain will accept bushels for this program on a delivered or picked up on the farm basis. If you are truly interested in supporting our youth with the cost of secondary education, please contact Scott Docherty or Stacy Bradshaw, Manager of the Piatt County Farm Bureau at 217-762-2128.
WORKING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE
EASIER . . . .
Topflight Grain’s slogan is “working to make your life easier”. We have many ways that we work to achieve this. Technology has given us even more ways to help you.
1. ACH payments. “ACH” means Automated Clearing House, but more commonly explained as direct deposit. If you wish, your grain check can be sent from Topflight Grain directly to your bank account. You don’t have to drive to town to pick up the check, or wait on the mail for your check. It goes straight to the bank. You continue to receive the settlement sheet, showing bushels, dollars and deductions, as you always. If this service would make your life easier, please call your local office for the form to complete to begin direct deposit of your grain checks.
2. Internet access to grain account information. By logging into the Topflight Grain website, using your personal password, you can view your grain balances, open contracts & offers and scale tickets, anytime of the day. If you’re interested in this service, logon to www.topflightgrain.com, then choose “producer reports” on the top set of tabs. A green box will appear, asking for your ID and password. In the lower left corner of the box, you will see “Register for free”. Click on that line, complete the information requested on the next screen, and submit. In most cases, your information will be available online the next evening, after 8:00 PM.
3. Market commentary & bids via email. Amy Brammer compiles market comments each morning and emails them. In the evening, she emails the bids, out, with a short market commentary. If you’re interested in receiving the market comments and/or the bids via email, please contact the Bement office.
4. Pricing offers. You can submit offers to sell your grain, via the website. From our home page, click on the Grain Bids link, then “submit grain offers” at the top of the page. Complete the information, and submit it. Your offer will be placed in the market, the next business day.
If none of these will make your life easier, that is fine. We will gladly write your grain checks, provide your grain information to you, and discuss the markets with you. None of our technology is intended to displace our personal contact with you. Our relationship with you is most important!
GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY
Topflight Grain Coop was proud to
present a $1,000 donation to Willow Tree Missions in
Willow Tree Missions is a
Not-for-profit organization located in
Topflight Grain Coop proactively helps communities prepare for tomorrow by donating resources that develop and strengthen organizations dedicated to human service, education, youth and civic endeavors.
BLAME IT ON THE FARMERS
It seems like everyday we hear that most of the world problems are due to high grain prices. While most of our food products and many consumer goods contain grain ingredients, the consumer price is determined by many more factors than just the price of corn & beans.
WE WILL MISS HER
By Jill Kuykendall
One of my favorite senior lady
friends, Virginia Lienhart, passed on this past December 1, 2007. This is
normally a sad time when this happens.
Virginia’s husband, Harold, and son, Robert, both passed away in
November in 2000, the same day. I so
admired her for her strength and faith that got her through such trying times.
She could have been bitter in her
situation, but she stayed on the go, with family and friends. She was
ready to go with a quick phone call.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * *
Every year, each American east
23 lbs of pizza.
It
takes 33.5 billion pounds of milk to make the cheese and 8 billion pounds of
tomatoes to make the sauce.
Each American eats 299 tortillas
every year.
It
takes 6.4 billion pounds of corn meal and wheat flour to make those 84 billion
tortillas.
Americans buy 600 million pairs
of jeans per year.
It
takes 1.8 million bales, or 900 million pounds, of cotton to satisfy our love
of denim.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * *
There
was an old farmer who owned a small ranch in
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay
them," demanded the agent.
"Well,"
replied the farmer , "There's Marvin who's been with me for 15
years. I pay him $60 a week plus free room and board. The cook has
been here for 18 months, and I pay her $50 a week plus free room and
board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and
does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week,
pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday
night."
"That's
the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.
"That
would be me," replied the farmer.
* * * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
INSURED
Crop insurance and market news were
the topics at the meetings held in
Crop insurance decisions had to be made by mid-March, but if you have questions about the prices, the what-ifs, or anything else, please feel free to visit with either Matt or Derrick.
ONE EARTH ENERGY, LLC
By Scott Docherty
One Earth Energy (OEE) is moving
forward with construction on the 100 million gallon per year plant in
OEE project Manager Steve Kelley has been working hard to oversee and steer this project to completion. OEE has hired Larry Breese as controller to assist Steve and to work with the financials which is a huge undertaking with a $150 million plus budget.
Ethanol seems to be on many people’s hit list and has been the brunt of some energy articles. Remember that ethanol is trading at a significant discount to gasoline (50-60 cents) and the ethanol producers are not receiving one penny of the blender’s tax credit.
The
Topflight Grain and our patrons will have the opportunity to sell corn into the new plant once it becomes operational next year. This should help your local corn basis and give Topflight Grain another market for rail or truck. If you have any questions about this project please feel free to give us a call.
BIG BUCKS!!
$63,452,100 in grain checks were written the first business day of 2008, for our Topflight customers. Another $20 million was written during the balance of January, for a total grain disbursement in January of $84,665,000. Those numbers, coupled with extremely high margin calls, keep Chuck watching the bank balance closely!
SAFETY AWARDS
The end of 2007 marked the completion of the first year of Topflight Grain’s safety incentive program. Safety manager, Brock Casteel, implemented the program at the beginning of 2007 to reward employees and facilities who had no time lost due to injuries. The program includes monthly safety meetings for the operations staff, covering topics such as bin entry, welding, rail car loading and much more pertaining to the daily jobs of the crew. At the end of the year, rewards are presented to each member of the operations staff who has completed the year with no time loss from a work-related accident. In addition, awards are presented to each location with no work-related accidents.
ROCKIN’ & ROLLIN’!!
130 women revisited the 50’s &
60’s at this year’s Topflight Grain annual women’s program, held at the
The program
began with a whole lot of shakin’ goin’ on, as Elvis Hisselvis performed many
of the songs from the King of Rock and Roll.
Elvis was alive that day, as his songs brought back many memories. Jeff Shively,
Ester
Basket Case Catering served a delicious home-style lunch, and then Ruta Rauber opened the afternoon program with crafts typical of the 50’s & 60’s. Following Ruta’s instructions, each lady created a May basket and a square box, and folded a dollar bill into a heart. These were inexpensive home decorations or gift items.
While everyone sipped on root beer floats, Jim Walker and Terry Brennan entertained the group with their musical talents, playing songs of the era.
It was a great day, enjoyed by all who attended.
WORKING ON THE RAILROAD
By Scott Docherty
Cisco RR
Recently Topflight Grain
Cooperative, Inc. sent letters to all the adjoining landowners of the RR tracks
from Cisco to
Along the way of the railroad, we became aware of tile problems along one of the railroad bridges. We thought it would be a relatively simple fix, and called Jon Seevers to help us. A call from Jon told us it was a more serious problem, that dated back a long time ago when the tile was broken and a fix was attempted. The “fix” was not very good, and has created more problems over time. Just like many of your endeavors, the problem became more than we expected, but still had to be fixed.
Bement RR siding
On April 25 Topflight Grain
received a court order signed by Judge John Shonkwiler of the Sixth Judicial
Circuit Court stating that the court found the “Village of Bement’s failure to
re-zone said parcel from residential to industrial bears no real and
substantial relation to public, health, safety, moral, and comfort and general
welfare and therefore is arbitrary, capricious and constitutionally void”. Topflight Grain is very pleased with the
Judge’s ruling and this should allow the
A brief
history on the Bement rail situation: Several years ago, Bement Grain Company
purchased old railroad property from the
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * *
Here are the ten first place
winners in the International Pun Contest:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two
dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one
carrion allowed per passenger.'
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns
to the other and says 'Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly,
so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen
atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my Electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.’
5. Did you hear about
the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend
dental medication.
6. A group of chess
enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing
their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But
why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said,' I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in
an open foyer.'
7. A woman has twins and
gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
8. A group of friars were
behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to
raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of
God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He
asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired
Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade'
them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying
he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving
that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He
also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet,
he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile
mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the
person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least
one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
